In a turn of events that might make even the most seasoned courtroom drama writers do a double-take, Hunter Biden, the embattled first son and apparent aficionado of questionable financial decisions, has been handed a hefty dose of legal reality. A federal judge in sunny California has essentially told Hunter, “Nice try, buddy,” rejecting all attempts to dismiss the tax charges he’s facing. And oh boy, were there attempts—eight separate motions by Hunter’s high-flying legal team, no less.
Now, people, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of this courtroom tango. Hunter’s legal eagles, led by none other than Biden family counsel Abbe Lowell, strutted into court with a story that could make even the most stoic IRS agent shed a tear. They claimed these charges were as politically motivated as a campaign ad, tainted by what they called “outrageous government conduct” by the IRS. The evidence? A smorgasbord of newspaper articles, social media posts, and—wait for it—legal blogs. It seems the defense was banking on the judge having a soft spot for Twitter threads and blog rants.
But Judge Mark Scarsi wasn’t having any of it. With the kind of clarity that makes you wonder why he isn’t running the country, Scarsi noted that this so-called “evidence” was about as solid as a chocolate teapot. In his words, these citations “contain multiple levels of hearsay” and don’t quite cut the mustard when it comes to proving that Republicans had Justice Department special counsel David Weiss on speed dial, pressuring him to play hardball with Hunter.
Scarsi pointed out that Hunter’s motion was remarkably light on actual, you know, evidence. “The motion is remarkable in that it fails to include a single declaration, exhibit, or request for judicial notice,” he wrote. It’s like showing up to a gunfight with a slingshot.
Hunter Biden, in case you’ve been living under a rock, faces charges in Delaware and California that read like a bad day at the office for Uncle Sam: tax evasion, filing false tax returns, and the pièce de résistance—a felony count for trying to buy a gun while conveniently forgetting to mention his ongoing drug use. All this jazz stems from a failure to cough up at least $2 million in back taxes from overseas business dealings, primarily in China, between 2016 and 2019.
It seems like Hunter Biden’s attempt to play the political victim card got smacked down harder than a fly at a barbecue. And as this legal saga unfolds, the courtroom drama surrounding the Bidens is far from over. But hey, at least it keeps things interesting, right, people?
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